


Smoldering Fragile Hearts

by Crazyapplekiss



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 10:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazyapplekiss/pseuds/Crazyapplekiss
Summary: Emil felt his jealousy simmer like a hot coal. why did he not get to touch him but Reynir did? This was stupid. It was all stupid. You’re stupid. This means nothing but he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.His heart or him.
Relationships: Reynir Árnason/Lalli Hotakainen/Emil Västerström
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Smoldering Fragile Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Windfighter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windfighter/gifts).

> This was brought up in the last friday stream by Windy. Thank you for the motivation for this fic darling. I can’t write this kind of drama to save my life honestly, so I hope you enjoy.  
Pls don’t let this be trash.

Emil was jealous.

He knew it was unreasonable of him. This trip was for _Lalli_ he told himself. You have no business getting mad at him. It’s not his fault but the more Emil repeated this the less he believed it.

By now he’d learnt to stay back and observe and hold his tongue when Lalli did his mage stuff. It was a complicated mix-up of what seemed to be a random and spontaneous and oh so dangerous considering what he went through in the past winter with him. He still wasn’t sure what he believed but he wasn’t going to question it. So, when Lalli seemed to keep to himself even more than he usually did or drag Reynir off to show him show him something interesting it shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did.

He watched through narrowed eyes as Lalli pulled Reynir forward along the string tied around the trees. It wasn’t anything interesting. Just a regular worn string with pinecones tied to it in two’s and threes. He wasn’t sure what it could mean, the same way how he didn’t understand _what_ Finnish mages found in stringing up troll bones in trees. It was at least a sure sign that Onni passed through here, sure, Emil should have been grateful for it. It meant less time walking around aimlessly in troll country but all he could think about was Lalli and how he had Reynir’s hand in his.

Reynir himself wasn’t too unpleasant Emil found. He still found it a bit hard to go along with his chirpy optimism sometimes, but he seemed to mean well. And there were times when Emil looked, he’d thought he’d caught Reynir staring at him. Maybe it was his imagination.

Emil narrowed his eyes at them. Just last night he’d tried to snuggle up to Lalli. With nearly everyone asleep and with Sigrun out of sight on watch, it was a perfect time to get a few hours of peace with him in his arms but as soon as Emil wrapped his arms around him Lalli stiffened and pushed him away. When he tried again, he got a palm in his face and a sharp no.

Emil felt his jealousy simmer like a hot coal. Why did he not get to touch him but Reynir did? What did he do to get ignored that night? Why did Lalli choose _him_?

Emil was so busy glaring and brooding to himself that he hadn’t noticed when he started walking off the path nor did he notice when he was walking straight into a tree. He let out a small distressed sound as he fell on his ass. He scrambled back to his feet and held his head down as he got back on the trail, in shame. They all saw that! Gods, I can feel them looking at me. Stop making a fool of yourself Em! For all it was worth Sigrun slapped him on the back and told him to watch where he was going next time as she laughed and pushed him along.

Great. Now his face hurt and Sigrun was laughing at him. He didn’t bother looking in Lalli’s direction at all. He could already hear him telling him he was an idiot. This could not get any worse.

“Careful there, wouldn’t want you getting face cancer now do we?” Mikkel said

Why did he even bother?

“Mikkel!” Emil groaned. He wasn’t about to start another conversation with him about his stupidity. It was ten times too much embarrassment for this morning alone to deal with. Mikkel and his pranks could go fall in a hole somewhere.

This was stupid. It was all stupid. _You’re_ stupid. Everything isn’t about you! Emil mentally slapped himself as he heard Aunt Siv’s voice cutting through his thoughts. I’m probably getting worked up over nothing! Lalli and Reynir are probably doing mage stuff. Stop getting worked up over this.

But when Emil looked up again and saw them hand in hand up head, he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.

His heart or him.

-

The sky was a smoldering dark shade of purple and grey. At this time of the year it was never truly dark, but the summer was pleasantly cool and quiet. Emil felt no happiness from this though all he could think of was how Lalli suck close to Reynir for a few days now and dived into the tent beside him as soon as the tent was up.

Emil glared at the fire as he remembered it. He tired asking him about what he found in Finnish – as limited as his vocabulary was – but all he got was a look at said that he said something stupid and should stop and Lalli's silence. It was eating away at him that Lalli barely looked or touched him at all. He ignored his lingering looks only to meet his gaze for a moment and then turn away again.

Emil tried convincing himself over and over that Lalli just had days that he’d act like this sometimes, but his mind had a way of running away with wild possibilities and what ifs. Emil started to get frustrated with himself. Why did he think Lalli wouldn’t get tired of him?

He wasn’t that special. He was probably just a clumsy weirdo that bothered him too much.

Emil sighed and poked the fire. Even when he thought that he understood Lalli, he realized there was so much he still didn’t know.

-

Lalli wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be expecting when he walked into Emil’s not-orphanage dream but the sight of Emil wrist deep in food and glaring angrily at it was enough to keep him suck at the door. He wasn’t sure what he was interrupting but it looked weird.

Concerning but mostly weird.

And When Emil looked up it got even more weird when they both locked eyes for what felt like the most awkward ten seconds of his life.

“Eh! -“

“I told you to not be weird!”

Emil choked as Lalli stood at the doorway not meeting his eyes. He could feel himself blushing hard. This was all a mess. Horrible. Now he must think I’m a slob now too.

“Are you going stop being weird” Lalli watched Emil suspiciously as he made his way to the couch

“Are you??” Emil asked back wide eyed. Emil was silent for a while and Lalli tried to watch him carefully. He’d seemed okay enough, apart from… whatever _that_ was. Emil was acting strange lately, even more distracted than usual and he looked like he wanted to speak. Lalli just waited until he was ready to and took an entire cake and sat down with it.

Emil took a deep breath and spoke in a rush“I - I don’t know how to ask you this, but – but it’s been killing me all day and i have to know ” Lalli looked on in confusion

“Do you not like me anymore?” Emil hid his face in his hands. Well he’d said it and he hopes he doesn’t get the answer he’s dreading.

Between the trips from Iceland to Finland they haven’t found much time to be together and wasn’t very private either seeing as they always had to share a room with everyone.

Lalli put his cake aside and pulled Emil into his arms and tried to calm him down.

“I still like you stupid” Lalli kept wondering why Emil was being so weird before and now he found his answer" I'll always like you and Reynir too. He's not terrible. Are you okay with that?"

Emil didn't say anything for some time but he tightened his arms around Lalli and shook his head. He felt better knowing that this was just a misunderstanding on his part. He didn't need to be worked up by it at all. Lalli leaned down and gave him a kiss on the top of his head soft and lingering and hugged Emil close.

“I like you too much” Emil said unable to keep the smile off his face

"Mrr"

That night they dreamed wrapped around each other in the quiet of Emil dream, happy and warm.

-

Emil walked along with Lalli leading the way and Reynir in tow. He no longer felt angry at them when they got close or seemed to slip away. He knew they wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. He still wasn't sure were this would lead but he knew Lalli would help him if he had any problems again but for now he'd let him take the lead.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't quite capture their behaviours right but oh well. thanks for reading.


End file.
